VERY tricky and unusual situation with a friend? Desperately need advice on what I can say?

I have a very good friend who is extremely overweight. I think it is over 350 pounds (just to give you an idea). she is an absolutely lovely lady, and a very good friend, and my children are friends with hers, etc.
My only problem is that over the time I've known her, she has broken various items of my furniture, dining chairs, recliner armchair, outdoor seating benches, and also the passenger seat of my car twice.
I can't exactly tell her to stop visiting, or put her off, as she would guess there was a reason, does anybody have ANY suggestions on what I can do to stop having to replace things all the time? all suggestions are welcome, but serious answers only please.

Your friend sounds expensive. There's no polite way of handling this. when she comes over cook dietary food.

Tell her you love her,but if she breaks anything else,she'll have to pay for it,,tell her she could be in danger of having a heart attack and you'd like her to be around for awhile!

Well as a friend if she really has broken that many of your things in the past then she should be offering to pay for them....if she is offering to pay for or replace these items then next time accept her offer by saying something like"well thats very kind i am a little strapped for cash" if she doesnt offer and this really is an issue for you then you need to put your hand out and say please re-imburse me this has happened on a number of occasions and although i know you dont mean to do it i simply can not afford to continue to pay for these things. Now say it! good luck

tell her to get lipo. and just to let you know u aren't a really good friend after calling her fat and then talking trash about her on the internet. im telling her on you.

If you two are really good friends, then you just have to be truthful with her. her feelings will most likely be hurt but she needs to know how you feel. I'm sure she will be embarrassed and probably will feel bad about all the broken things but if you don't say something, it's going to drive you crazy everytime she comes over. If you don't have the heart to tell her, then maybe when you see her, it should be at her house from now on. you can start off by saying, "I love you to death but I have something to tell you...

Wow! this is a hard one.

Well you could put her off, and when she asks whats the reason you could tell her the truth? no that probably won`t work. Lets see you could offer her the easy way out. Suggest she get gastric bypass surgery. Read and repeat verbatim the health risks associated with being over weight at a given age.
There really is no easy answer - Perhaps ask her how she would go about asking a friend a question about a rather personal thing. when she answers pose your feelings to her the same way.
Good luck.

Although your friend maybe happy with herself, there are some consequences. for example, she`ll have a high chance of heart attack, liver cancer, stroke, and other health problems. Sadly, I really don`t have a suggestion.

Now that is a tricky situation. I think the best way to go about it is to talk to her about your problem. It isn't going to be the best conversation of your whole life but it's better than a.) lying to her and b.) spending money when you could have saved it for better things.

Assure her first that you're doing this as a friend and no matter what happens you'll always be friends. I think she will appreciate your honesty on this matter.

Good luck!

Have you ever tried to talk to her about why she gained her weight? was it a traumatic experience, or a death? Did it just gradually pack on?

Sometimes, people want to lose weight but they've failed so many times before that they feel discouraged.

I read you have talked to her about it, but this is a very sensitive subject and I feel like no matter how you bring it up, it'd end a friendship.

Perhaps (if you must say something) just sit her down and tell her how much you value her as a friend, and then let her know that you wish you had sturdier furniture for her comfort.

This is definitely touchy!

OK, this could be your "words":

"Hey, sweetie. I'd like to ask you out for a good dinner but I've gone so broke replacing the car seat, the recliner, the bench, the dining chair,..and I may need to buy another of that one you're sitting on right now. So, could you please help me out by saving extra, extra money to get everything fixed or replaced so that I could treat you to a nice dinner sometime?"

(Note: you got to give her a sweet yet pitiful facial expression)
Good luck to you...and your friend!

I've been the other person in this situation and it's very upsetting. I'm overweight and when I sat in a friend's chair once it made a cracking sound. It didn't break, but it made her nervous enough that she very quickly just told me that from now on she wanted me to use the other sturdier chairs she had in her other set. It was very embarassing for me and it still is when I have to get the other chair, but as her friend I can certainly understand it. I don't want to break her furniture and I certainly don't want to have to pay for it. I just do as I'm told and try not to make it any more awkward for her. I hate it, but it's a situation of mine that I need to address. I think that it's probably best that you're just very open and honest with your friend about this. Try to be as gentle as possible, but make sure she understands. The suggestion about getting her her own chair is a good one too. It's similar to what I do at my friend's house.

How does your friend react whenever these things happen - is she embarrassed, or has she ever offered to replace/repair any of the items? It is great that you are concerned about her health also, but, if she appears to be happy and comfortable within herself, there is not alot you are going to do to change her mindset. Meantime, - visit her alot, rather than the other way round, or do lots of outings. Im not sure - really, the bottom line is the friendship here - you may have to talk to her about this oh so gently,,,,good luck

i have a brother in the same situation. he's 330ish and has broken a few chairs in his time, too.
he refuses to sit in anything that doesn't look too sturdy. he'll take a seat on the floor before breaking any more furniture (but he has to make sure it's close to a wall or he can't get up).
he broke the chair at the movies so now he just stands in the back. one time a worker came in and told him to have a seat; he tried to explain to the kid that he's too big for them. the kid didn't listen so my brother sat down and broke it - the kid finally understood and let him stand.

by the way - my brother is m.r./m.h. (slightly mentally retarded/mentally handicapped) and knows to not break people's furniture. doesn't your friend have any kind of empathy for other people and their belongings?

she can't be too much of a friend if she continues to behave the same way (breaking things and not replacing them).

Get bean bags for her to sit on. no more chairs for her.

It seems like focusing on this could keep you from enjoying her company. maybe it would be better not to hang out at your house, but go out somewhere else when you see her.

VERY tricky and unusual situation with a friend? Desperately need advice on what I can say?