Follow the toddler diet to lose weight ..its a proven diet?

Posted by admin on July 10th, 2011

DAY ONE----

Breakfast: One scrambled egg, one piece of toast with grape jelly. Eat 2 bites of egg, using your fingers; dump the rest on the floor. take 1 bite of toast, then smear the jelly over your face and clothes.

Lunch: four crayons (any color), a handfull of potato chips, and a glass of milk ( 3 sips only, then spill the rest)

Dinner: A dry stick, two pennies and a nickel, 4 sips of flat Pepsi.

Bedtime snack: Throw a piece of toast on the kitchen floor...........

DAY TWO-----

Breakfast: Pick up stale toast from kitchen floor and eat it. Drink half bottle of vanilla extract or one vial of vegetable dye.

Lunch: Half a tube of "Pulsating Pink" lipstick and a handfull of Purina Dog Chow (any flavor). One ice cube, if desired.

Afternoon Snack: Lick an all-day sucker untill sticky, take outside, drop in dirt. Retrieve and continue slurping until it is clean again. then bring inside and drop on the rug.

Dinner: A rock or an uncooked bean, which should be thrust up your left nostril. Pour grape Kool-Aid over mashed potatoes; eat with a spoon.

DAY THREE-----

Breakfast: Two pancakes with plenty of syrup, eat one with fingers, rub in hair. Glass of milk; drink half, stuff other pancake in glass. After breakfast, pick up yesterdays sucker from rug, lick off fuzz, put it on the cushion of your best chair.

Lunch: three matches, peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Spit several bites onto the floor. Pour glass of milk on table and slurp up.

Dinner: Dish of ice cream, handfull of potato chips, some red punch. Try to laugh some punch through nose, if possible.

FINAL DAY----

Breakfast: A quarter tube of toothpaste (any flavor), bit of soap, an olive. Pour a glass of milk over bowl of cornflakes, add half a cup of sugar.. once cereal is soggy, drink milk and feed cereal to dog.

Lunch: Eat bread crumbs off kitchen floor and dining room carpet. find that sucker and finish eating it.

Dinner: A glass of spaghetti and chocolate milk. Leave meatball on plate. Stick of mascara for dessert.

HAHAHA.
SO THATS WHAT DIET MY BABY SISTER IS ON!

SO NOW I KNOW

This is hillarious. love the diet.

lol no thanks...i don't want this diet..hahaaa..

Funny, how about a darker joke, please don't read if under 18 or easilyy offended, or even if you are not easil offended.

How do you make a child drink?
Stick one in a liquidiser.

Hope you found it funny and it didn't cause offence )

Ha ha ha.....
very good OR....
I'll follow the "Terror" around...bet I'll lose weight...