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At a friend's wedding, everything went smoothly until it was time for the flower girl and her young escort to come down the aisle. the boy stopped at every pew, growling at the guests. when asked afterward why he behaved so badly, he explained, "I was just trying to be a good ring bear."
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Harold's new job had him working really late. he decides to get his wife a watchdog. he goes to the pet store and asks for a doberman. the employee said, "if its a guard dog you want I have a dog just for you." the man walks to the back of the store to get a dog and comes back with a little poodle. Harold says, "this small thing, a watch dog? You're kidding, right?" the employee says, "No, this dog is special; he knows karate." "Karate? I don't believe it," Harold says. the employee puts the dog down and says, "Karate the sign." and he points to a sign advertising dog food. the dog runs up and rips the sign to shreds. Harold is amazed at this. the employee then says, "Karate the chair." and he points to a chair in the corner. the dog runs up and rips the chair to shreds. By now Harold is convinced. "I'll take him," he says. when he gets home he surprises his wife and she yells out, "this little thing, a watch dog? No way." Harold says, "but this dog knows karate." "Karate," she yells. "Karate my ***!"
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Joan, who was a rather well-proportioned secretary, spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel. She wore a bathing suit the first day, but on the second, she decided that no one could see her way up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall tan. She'd hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs. She was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear. "Excuse me, miss," said the flustered assistant manager of the hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs. "the Hilton doesn't mind your sunbathing on the roof, but we would very much appreciate your wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday." "What difference does it make?" Joan asked rather calmly. "No one can see me up here, and besides, I'm covered with a towel." "not exactly," said the embarrassed man. "You're lying on the dining room skylight.
the send one is the funniest one in my opinion, but I also liked the last one.
haha!
love it 
i like that a lot. thanks
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